For the husband to file, it would be Mexican law, but the wife can file for divorce in California. The requirement is that one of them has been a resident of California for the last 6 months and the county in which she files for three months. If she can't find Husband, then she can serve him by posting. If she can serve him, and he wants the divorce too, he could just allow this to go into default, or an uncontested judgment.
Like my colleague said, you are definitely thinking like a lawyer with the defamation. But I think the more important issue is that he is mentally, physically and emotionally abusive to you. You need to reach out to an adult you trust to tell them about what is going on in your household. I hope that after the divorce is finalized, you can continue to live a healthy and happy life.
You will still be legally responsible for your child in terms of support, even if you rarely have visits with her. This continues until and unless someone else adopts your child and takes over your responsibilities.
You don't need her permission to get a divorce. File for divorce and try to get her served in Mexico. If you can't serve her there because you don't know where she is, then you can serve her by posting. Good luck.
It is a huge step that you have decided to file for divorce. Keep in mind that the court has different ways of protecting domestic violence victims, especially if you have a history of documented domestic violence and evidence that you suffer from PTSD, etc. If you opt to do it on your own, there are self help departments in the courthouses where you can fill out your own paperwork. However, you will probably qualify for free legal help from different Bay Area organizations. If you live in...
Are you talking about the wedding or engagement ring that you gave to your wife? If so, the answer is no. That is a gift to her and since you married her, she gets to keep them. California is a no-fault state, so even if she was unfaithful, you can't ask the court to punish her for what she did. If this ring is yours, then you should be able to get it back.
I agree with my colleague's answer. I would be very careful giving your lottery ticket to your friend. That friend could walk away with all of the winnings and you would have to chase after him/her to get the proceeds. Besides, even if your friend helped you cash it out, there would still be a paper trail and your ex can still go after it. It's better to address this head on. Find an attorney, and fast.