I agree that you are likely to face some tricky service of process issues if he's living in another country now. That said, he may be just as motivated as you to finalize a divorce. You should contact him if possible to find out if he will cooperate. If he will cooperate, then you should consider Summary Dissolution if you qualify. Here are couple of blog articles I wrote recently that might help you get started. Good luck!
I agree with my colleague's response above. To answer your question about moving out of state, I would add that this may be a good time for you to set that process in motion. The fact that Father is spending very little time with your son means that you have a rare advantage and can likely move without the father being able to block you. We recently wrote a blog article on this topic. I link it here for your convenience:
I agree with Michael. The inverse of his answer, of course, is that if the child has not been in Florida for six consecutive months, the state the child lived in prior to that would be the state with jurisdiction.
One option is to ask the court permission to serve your husband by publication. The judge has to give you permission to do this, and will require that you prove you attempted all other reasonable means of service first.
Here's a link to the court's website that explains your various service options:
Howard is right, there's no way to know how long it will take to get your divorce back on track.
If your spouse fails to respond, you may have to take his/her default. That's not something you're going to want to do alone. I suggest you hire an attorney for the process, or at least speak with the facilitator's office at the court.
Here's a link to an article I wrote on the basics of the California divorce process. Hopefully this will help you understand where you are in the process:
This may sound obvious, but never underestimate the value of being polite to the court clerks. Those folks can really help you out if you've got questions. Also, the facilitators office in the court is there to help with issues like these. I suggest you ask the clerks to help first, and see where that gets you.
If the court rejects your Judgment Package, don't fret - it's pretty common. Just ask the Clerk what was missing, or pay a local attorney for a one-hour consult to get the paperwork finalized properly.
I would also suggest that you include stamped self-addressed envelopes with your submission. You want to make the process as easy as possible for the clerks.
Here's a link to a blog article I wrote on the basic paperwork in the divorce process. I hope it's useful:
I'm sorry to hear your situation is so difficult. I do not practice in Sacramento, so cannot help myself. I suggest you contact Legal Aid and VLSP for some pro bono help. Both of these organizations work with clients who cannot afford private attorneys Here's are two links for you: