I agree with my colleagues that you should at least consult with an attorney before making any moves.
That said, I would also suggest that you consider using a couple's counselor to facilitate the conversation. We have found that therapists can be very useful for easing the transition out of the marriage and keeping the acrimony low. Parties are almost always better off reaching an amicable agreement, and a therapist can help make that happen.
Best of luck!
I agree with Daniel, and I would add that civil litigation is quite expensive. I mention this to point out both the benefit and the detriment of that fact. On one hand, you have a bargaining chip in the form of a bluff - you can threaten a suit which would be very expensive for your ex to defend regardless of the outcome. On the other hand, if she calls your bluff, you face an expensive suit yourself, one which may very well cost more than you hope to win if you prevail. I suggest you...
The Mikes are right on this one. You can't force her into therapy.
Since you've been married for such a short time, you may qualify for summary dissolution. If you do end up divorcing, at least make the process easy on yourself. Here's a link to an article I wrote on summary dissolution for your benefit:
I agree with Shawn and would add that continuing a family law hearing can be as simple as contacting the Court Clerk's office. Your court likely has a self-help center that can assist you with this process as well.
That said, hiring a local attorney is a good move here.
I have to weigh in and agree that you need to get fully informed and fast. The sooner you get started resolving this thing in accordance with standard practice, the cheaper it's going to be. If you wait and delay, you're just increasing your cost and frustration. Trust us all on this one: move fast.
Based on what you have written, it does appear that California could take jurisdiction over your case. Therefore, to answer your question directly, yes you likely can proceed in California.
The devil is - as always - in the details, and so I suggest you contact an attorney to develop a workable strategy.
In order to answer your question directly, most attorneys are going to need more facts about the case. My best advice to you is that you contact an attorney for a brief consultation on the issue of reimbursements.
Generally speaking on the issue of your family home: if you and your wife own the home together, you may be entitled to a reimbursement claim based on the fact that she has exclusive use of the property.