Being a probate lawyer it's tough for me to say yes go ahead and represent yourself. However, it is very doable and the courts are often very helpful in giving you continuances to right any paperwork that is lacking. That being said, probates often have minor issues pop up that you will need to address (this is normal even when Lawyers handle them). So, my basic answer to your question would be YES it is very doable.
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As stated, gross value of the estate is used for Probate fees/costs purposes. Consult an attorney as the Probate Code does have sections stating fees and costs of administration are to be paid first - possibly at the expense of a lien holder.
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Generally, a married couple should hold property as community property with right of survivorship. As you have stated, there is a tremendous tax advantage in holding title in this manner and, like joint tenancy, the property passes by operation of law upon the first spouse's death. In my experience, people still continue to use joint tenancy for two main reasons: 1-Realtors/Escrow Agents usually suggest this and 2-Lack of knowledge that there is something out there that can pass the title...
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Yes you are entitled to a copy of the testamentary document if you are named in it. You are also entitled to the accounting which may show why you did not receive the specific cash gift you were to be given. I could speculate that maybe you were to be given a percentage of the estate and after expenses etc the amount was less then what your friend thought it would be.
In California - No
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