You mention the prior criminal acts but not what he went into juvenile for. If the crimes against you parents are included in the conviction that led to his incarceration, there should be a term of his release protecting your family.
However, you may also seek to have restraining orders issued against him, but unfortunately most courts will need "recent events" to impose the order. His past conduct is important for the court to know, but may not be enough to have the restraining orders put...
Was this latest incident (the headphones) recent? If so then you can ask the court for ex parte orders and an Emergency Investigation to get your daughter's wishes before the court.
The issue is, though, that Mom's anger could very well be explained as a form of discipline for a child that was ignoring her. Breaking a set of headphones may be trivial to the Judge.
If your child is too young then her input may not be important to the Judge either.
However, if the Judge was already leaning...
While expensive I don't know that it would be "overkill" in your situation to ask for a child custody evaluation under Evidence Code Section 730 and Family Code Section 3111.
If you use an evaluation, then all mental health records, including the "false accuser" reports would be subject to review, as well as any interactions with other mental health professionals, County agencies, etc.
In some cases the evaluation is the best way to get the MFT's records and statements, as well as the child's...
I don't know if it's a "good sign" but I would certainly bring the original and the copy of the card to the court hearing.
The Judge only has to believe one of you a little more than the other to make the decision, so the more you can bring to show (1) you are not violent/abusive, and (2) your husband is not afraid of you the better.
You should contact the Legal Aid Society or the Public Law Center to see if you can get assistance in preparing for your court hearing.
Your predicament is neither insane nor unusual in today's economy.
Private school is discretionary to the court, meaning it doesn't HAVE to order it. That decision depends upon whether or not it makes economic sense to pay the tuition.
Frankly, there are few people who can afford $55,000/year right now.
If you have a contract with the private school to pay for the school year then you're likely stuck with the current tuition. However, school selection is a legal custody decision, and if...
Technically your spouse only has control over her "half" of the jointly-held property.
If his mother doesn't want to sell the house then you can seek a conservatorship (assuming she can't handle her own affairs). Of course, if she cooperates then that's that.
There are certain tax advantages and disadvantages to selling the home now that she's moved out, so before thinking about selling consult with a tax accountant about what you would pay once it's sold.
Assuming you're determined to be the father then you can ask the court to have your name added to your daughter's name. At 16 months old she likely doesn't have an attachment to her last name (yet!)
You can also request the court to order the birth certificate changed to list you as her father.
If you haven't already done so, look to the form for the Petition to Establish Parental Relationship; all you have to do is to check the right box & ask the court to order the name you think is...
The short answer is "no" she can't have someone take your child without your permission or a court order.
The long answer is: Assuming your ex-girlfriend is the mother of your child, your child was conceived in California, and you and your son lived in California for the last 18 months then California should have "continuing exclusive jurisdiction" to make orders regarding your son. Does she leave messages saying she's going to take your son away? Do you have emails from her saying the same...
In California there is no such thing a "primary residency" for child custody decisions. If you have "joint custody", that presumes both joint "legal" and joint "physical" custody. By having joint custody both you and the other parent have equal decision-making ability regarding your child's health, education and welfare. Joint physical means you both have the right to have the child with you (as opposed to one parent having visitation).
If the issue is school enrollment then keep a log of...
Unfortunately most branches of the DCSS have orders that say that they can "levy" against bank accounts even if the payor is current. You said you're making payments, so the question is whether those were coming from a wage assignment or not. If your wages had already been withheld and then they went after your bank account, then the DCSS exceeded the maximum they can get from your paycheck (65%).
To contest the levy you have to act quickly and send the "Claim of Exemption" form to the DCSS...