This situation, sadly, is not uncommon. However, you are between the preverbal rock and the hard place. The Court is trying to balance the rights of the father and the relationship between Father/Daughter against your time and history with her.
Public Policy sides with him in that society wants a child to have both parents involved in the child's life. And, sometimes that can appear traumatic for the child. I would recommend you keep a keen eye on her behavior while supporting her visits...
You seem to think because you are 18 and not 19 this will not be on your record. This is incorrect. A shoplifting conviction will remain on your permanent record for your lifetime unless you are PARDONED. You can have it expunged after you complete probation, but it will remain on your record.
You say you paid an amount. I would guess this was the CIVIL fine the store itself is permitted to charge you for its loss prevention; this does not mean your CRIMINAL matter has been disposed of....
The court is looking towards the best interest of child. You are correct in thinking if she goes to school there now, it is mostly likely they would want to continue this. However, you have to be concerned about how a 50/50 arrangement will be workable when she heads to elementary school. Can you get her there? Can he get her there? Who will pick up. Check the distances, try to work the schedule as if she was already attending elementary school... If the schedule works best for you, that...
It appears your ex was trying to give you exparte notice. This notice has to be given by 10:00am the day before the hearing, unless there is some necessary reason (which is uncommon).
He was SUPPOSED to tell you the time, date, department, and the reason he is going exparte and what he wants the court to order. Many times Pro Per litigants screw this up. BUT, you can be assured he will fill out the form saying he gave you notice.
Exparte's are for EMERGENCY situations. There has to...
Your finding out about the falsity of the letter would have to have been recent. Otherwise the court will question your motivation for holding on to it.
I would not go back for the sole purpose of claiming perjury though. I would file a new motion for modification of custody and bring it up then. You will need a signed and NOTARIZED letter from your ex with the 10 year old specifically stating she did not write the previous letter. Even better would to have her present to testify she did...
Most states have SOL that vary from crime to crime depending on their severity. Tha above posters are correct, that some crimes (murder) have no SOL. Even some sex crimes SOL's have been extended. Check your local bar association, or consult with an attorney to discuss your particular concerns.
News reporting agencies have an additional layer of protection when it comes to slander/defamation. You have to be abel to show they KNEW it was not true and MEANT to do you harm. it is VERY HARD to show this.
Your situation sucks, but there is little you can do about it, other than get the charges thrown our and hold your own press conference.
There is more to this story I will bet. Usually CPS tries to place the children with extended family first. Did you let them know you were available? Usually adoptions takes some time. This must have been going on for quite a while.
Hire an attorney and quick. Once the adoption goes through it is nearly impossible to reverse.
Look at FC 4325. If she is convicted of DV, there is a presumption she not receive any SS. There has to be a conviction though. Have you ever filed for a restraining order? Is there a Criminal Protective Order in place?
File your motion for modification or termination if she gets convicted.