Although some divorced parents are able to make an agreement like this work, if there's no history of him living up to that sort of role, it's unlikely he's going to in the future. There's the possibility that he's offering it in hopes of avoiding an ordinary calculation and award of child support. Be very cautious. And hire an attorney for advice before agreeing to anything.
I agree with the other responses. Your method may not be a good way to handle your property/debt division. Typically, we try to find a way to divide the assets themselves, with perhaps a small amount paid to equalize columns, but giving everything to one side with a big cash payment to the other side may be unwise for a number of reasons. One is that it can be complex to "secure" that payment. There are ways to do it, but you're not going to find them on a fill-in-the-blank form.
It might not technically qualify as abandonment, but you have some intriguing arguments for having primary custody of all three children. A further consult, with more history and details, would be necessary to opine further.
I agree with Brian, and will add to that. Although these issues of custody and support seem straightforward at first, they are not. There are lots of wrinkles and sub-issues that have to be done correctly, and if they're not done correctly, can come back and bite you. I often make more money fixing old orders that were done wrong than I would have made doing it right in the first place.
I'm allowed to rebuild the engine in my car without a mechanic, but that doesn't mean it's going to run...
I agree with the other responses on this question. Sometimes it's makes sense to file an Enforcement on Temporary Orders, and sometimes it's best to handle them (the violations) as part of the final resolution of the case. If you've talked to your current attorney about this, and you're not seeing eye to eye, maybe it's time to interview some other attorneys for second opinions or a change of counsel.
Technically, yes. But use caution. If you're needing the money for living expenses or attorneys fees, you'll be fine. But, if it looks later, to a judge, like you were just disposing of things, out of spite or whatever, that could be held against you. Once you file, some counties have Standing Orders that bar certain actions/expenditures/sales from that point forward.
A closer look at the Decree would be necessary. If you normally return the children to school on Monday, you'd hope that the "holiday" section would state that you return them to school on Tuesday, but, that detail may have been missed, and if the Decree says that you, on Monday holidays, are to return them on Monday night, then that's what it says, and you'd probably better do that, barring an agreement otherwise. You could seek to modify the Decree provisions to state what you'd prefer, but...
Since he would have a copy of the Divorce Decree document, I would recommend doing your name change as a separate action, rather than as part of the divorce.
If there are no kids, and you file through an attorney, the address part shouldn't be a problem.
I recommend at least a consultation with an attorney. It's unlikely that just knowing the home value and perhaps the retirement balance is going to get it done. If if a Petition and Answer/Waiver have been filed, getting the Divorce Decree right is extremely important. If all is agreed, perhaps it could be low cost, but your questions leaves many questions in an attorneys mind about what it will really take to wrap up your case.
Also, depending on how much your husband took out of the bank accounts, you may be able to get an attorney to take on your case, until such time as a Temporary Orders hearing can be had, and get some of those funds back to help with your attorneys fees and living expenses.