Provide documentation of all of these facts to your attorney. She will use it in negotiations with the DA to get you the best deal possibly--assuming the case needs to be pled and she cannot find a way to get it reduced or dismissed.
That is a jury instruction you have to ask for at trial. The judge may or may not allow it, depending on how the evidence develops during the trial. I think your defense is one even the DA will find sympathetic. Hire an experienced defense attorney, and I have a feeling you will reach a resolution that avoids trial.
The jury is allowed to consider your refusal as a piece of evidence against you--and the DA will certainly argue it. The State will have to prove that you were operating the vehicle in order to convict you. The law allows them to this circumstantially but some recent case law is making this more difficult for them. DWIs are highly technical cases (especially when blood evidence is involved). You need to start interviewing local DWI attorneys as soon as possible. Most of us don't charge for...
You are going to need attorneys in both counties. I would say it's very likely a motion to revoke your probation will be filed. Whether or not it will be granted is another story. That's what the attorney is for. It will certainly help if you can beat the new case. That's what the other attorney is for.
So you want a DWI expert that will let you tell them how to handle a case? That's a contradiction. You need to interview several defense attorneys who regularly go to trial on DWIS. Hire the one you have the most confidence in, then trust them to do their job.