Provide documentation of all of these facts to your attorney. She will use it in negotiations with the DA to get you the best deal possibly--assuming the case needs to be pled and she cannot find a way to get it reduced or dismissed.
That is a jury instruction you have to ask for at trial. The judge may or may not allow it, depending on how the evidence develops during the trial. I think your defense is one even the DA will find sympathetic. Hire an experienced defense attorney, and I have a feeling you will reach a resolution that avoids trial.
You are going to need attorneys in both counties. I would say it's very likely a motion to revoke your probation will be filed. Whether or not it will be granted is another story. That's what the attorney is for. It will certainly help if you can beat the new case. That's what the other attorney is for.
So you want a DWI expert that will let you tell them how to handle a case? That's a contradiction. You need to interview several defense attorneys who regularly go to trial on DWIS. Hire the one you have the most confidence in, then trust them to do their job.
I assume they took blood in your new case. If so, awaiting the blood labs will slow everything down. A DWI blood case in Collin County is usually filed in about 4-6 months. Sometimes it can be sooner, but it is not unusual for it to take longer. Obviously you need an experienced DWI attorney as soon as possible with your ALR hearing coming up. Most of us offer free consultations. Just start calling around!
There should be an in-car video of the tests. I don't know why the officer would care about your wife's video. It's not illegal for her to order it erased, but it's certainly improper. The jury will not like it. Your wife will need to testify about this at trial. It should help your case. You need to hire an experienced DWI attorney and discuss this with him.