If you have no children and no property it makes the case much easier. Sounds like you should get divorced. You do not need a good reason to get divorce, but it should like you have one anyway. It does not sound like an alimony case either since both of you are on ssi and don't work (plus the marriage is short). Call me if you would like to discuss it further.
I would have to seek the petitions, however, you can seek Rule 137 sanctions if your spouse is filing frivolous petitions. If non of the items are addressed in the divorce decree and it has been 4 years, it sounds frivolous.
They should not be using the same lawyer. It is a conflict of interest for one lawyer to represent two parties to a divorce. He is probably representing himself which is not a good idea. He needs to consult a lawyer who can give him advice on what he should pay or not pay. All divorce cases are fact specific so I could not say whether he owes her any money for anything. However, it is very possible. Have him call me if he would like to discuss his situation.
You have the right to change judges before they enter any substantive orders. It appears the court has rules on some substantive issues. You can also move for change of judge for cause, but that is very difficult. Call me if you would like to discuss your situation in more detail.
Sorry to hear about the situation. She could possibly file a small claims/civil case against him for breach of contract (oral) that he would pay her back. She should go the 6th floor of the Daley Center to file that.
You can probably get an order for no tobacco especially if you have documents from your doctor saying no tobacco. Overnights is not common for a child that small. There is no rule prohibiting it. I can't see why anyone would want overnight anyway with a child that small. Supervised visits for a the first few months might be appropriate as well. Call me if you wold like to discuss your case or if you need help getting those orders.