The attorney general can serve him by mail at the P.O. Box address you have for him, or if you want personal service hire a process server. Once served if he does not show up the court has the ability to issue a warrant for his arrest. The court has vast powers, you need to unlock them. Perhaps hiring a private attorney would be of more help.
Generally, because of the residency test, a child of divorced or separated parents is the qualifying child of the custodial parent. However, the child will be treated as the qualifying child (for the purposes of claiming a dependency exemption and the child tax credit, but not for the earned income credit) of the noncustodial parent if all four of the following statements are true:
1. The parents:
a. are divorced or legally separated under a decree of divorce or separate maintenance,
A court will not terminate his parental rights absent State involvement. You can and should act to restrict or supervise visitation. Basically you need evidence of serious endangerment.
Consult with an attorney who can adivse you further.
There is no doubt you have a case for maintenance. In such a case the duration of maintenance, the amount of maintenance, termination events and reviewability and modification are all part of what needs to be established.
The over all assets of the marriage is also a factor in maintenance so speak with an expirenced attorney who can help you get the fresh start that you want with the money you need to make it work.