You do not state whether a divorce case is pending. If there is no case pending and it was a joint account, yes he can remove the funds. She also could have done the same.
Your daughter needs to meet with a divorce attorney ASAP.
If you truly don't know where he is or how to find him, you can file for divorce and serve him by publication. Assuming he doesn't respond, you can get a default judgment for dissolution of marriage. However, no financial issues will be addressed. Hire an experienced divorce attorney and he or she should be able to take care of this for you.
Officially, no. The attorney can represent one party and the other would be pro se (representing himself). Representing both parties in a divorce is basically a conflict of interest, even if there's complete agreement.
You should do separate wills and distribute your respective estates as you see fit. Keep in mind that jointly held assets will go to the survivor of you regardless of the will. You should consult an estate planning attorney to get more details and proper guidance.
There are provisions in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage that allow a judge to order one side to pay for the other side's attorney's fees. It can be ordered on an iterim and prospective basis or after the fact. Just because there is a provision for this however, does not necessarily mean it will happen. Several factors go into a decision regarding attorney's fees. Your specific facts should be discussed with your attorney.