Your question is very broad – there are many ethics rules a lawyer could violate. i can’t speak for VA, but based on my experience in MN, the bar will not be very interested in fee disputes (my lawyer charged too much), poor quality (my lawyer is sloppy and doesn’t speak well in court), or bad manners (my lawyer, or the opposing lawyer, is nasty to me). The types of complaints that get more attention are: diligence (my lawyer isn’t working on my case), communication (never returns my calls),...
An attorney who represents lawyers before the bar may also help complainants. Lawyers who take malpractice cases may also be good sources of assistance. Law professors who teach ethics / professional responsibility may do some private practice on the side.
Contact the NJ Office of Attorney Ethics. You can go to http://www.judiciary.state.nj.us/oae/index.htm for information about their process and how to complain about a lawyer.