We have a mediation appointment coming up next month and i'm just wondering what exactly goes on and what to expect. Also wondering who will be allowed in the room..
Most importantly, you call the shots! You do what you want to do in the mediation. Since mediation is entirely voluntary, you can always walk out if for any reason it's not meeting your needs. So do not defer to the mediator. He or she is not and should not act like an authority figure. Use the mediation to say to your ex exactly what you want to say, ask him exactly what you want to ask, and make your own decisions about everything, including how long you participate in the mediation, and including who participates. Unlike the rest of the legal process, mediation should be an opportunity for you to "keep it real", clear the air, and/or do whatever else feels most meaningful to YOU. You are the client. The mediator works for you. So ask not how mediation works - make it work the way you want it to. If the mediator tries to tell you what to do in any way, go elsewhere.See question
Got an upcoming date for mediation with my ex, when do I need to notify him?
Is it already scheduled? Why not immediately?See question
We have been ordered to mediation via family court and I would like to make sure that it is child centered rather than the mudslinging tactics that I have endured. What is the best advice in terms of achieving the best outcome for our child? I a...
I totally understand your desire not to have to endure more mudslinging. Rest assured that in mediation, there's no risk that the mediator will believe what your ex says or use it against you. And enduring some of it might be very helpful. If possible, you might want to take the opportunity, difficult though it might be, to fully hear out your ex, and say something to the effect of "I understand that you feel that way. I apologize for any way I've contributed to our unpleasant situation. And I know you love and care about our child and I know he loves and needs you. We need to figure out how to work together to take good care of our child. I'm open to hearing all your concerns about me. But then I'd like us to get back to making plans for our child. I also understand that we might disagree about what's best for our child, but let's take back control of his parenting from the legal system." Also, if you don't like the court-ordered mediator, remember that you get to pick one. Look for a "transformative mediator". They generally understand how to get you to a better place more efficiently than do mediators who have been influenced too much by the legal system. Also, you're welcome to call me for a brief free phone chat.See question