The judge could adjourn the trial on the court's own motion but probably would not if he already denied a request for an adjournment. You should respond with a letter, copied to your husband's attorney, objecting to an adjournment and pointing out he tried to obtain an adjournment based on a stipulation you did not agree too. Some courts take faxed letters. Call the clerk of court's office in your county to find out or simply mail it ASAP. If there is a hearing on this motion you will want to...
You have a few issues here. First you should move the court for child support. Second, as long as you are moving the court for child support you should also request the court amend the judgment so you can claim them on your taxes.
Have you considered moving to hold her in contempt or moving for a reduction in child support payments? Perhaps both at the same time. It sounds to me like you need to ramp up the pressure and push the court to act in your favor. Judges often favor mediation and compromise but sometimes you just have to push and push and push until they act. Eventually they will if you know how to push their buttons in a nice way, of course. Give me a call and I will share some ideas.
Her assets are also your assets. If she wants a divorce you cannot stop her. The court will endeavor to split your assets and liabilities on a 50%-50% basis. You may be entitled to maintenance. That is completely up to the court. I urge you to hire a local attorney and begin preparations. Good luck.