See a lawyer asap. Too much more information needed for a proper answer here, but if you don't protect yourself, you will be in trouble. Get some advice, see a lawyer and don't wait until after the court rules against you because you have not been around. You do have rights.
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You and your husband may sign a post nuptial agreement stating that the property will be yours in the event of a divorce. Your husband should agree to this if it is a condition of the gift. In other words, if you will not be given the property unless there is a post nuptial agreement signed, then isn't it better to sign an agreement and get it than not have it? Hopefully your husband would agree.
You should immediately consult with an attorney to learn your rights. Taking the money before he does may be an option,but you should discuss the legal and strategic ramifications with a lawyer before doing that. If you are worried for your physical safety, get out, be safe, don't wait for advice about how to protect yourself if you are in harm's way; just protect yourself and your kids. But please get advice soon. There are many ways to help yourself, including restraining orders that may...
Sounds like a difficult situation. If there is any way to reopen it, a lawyer in your state would know, but ask a lawyer there right away as it may already be too late.
You should talk to a lawyer there to be safe, but you may not need any proof of divorce to get married and you might be able to marry again right away. The clerk where you request the marriage license may well know. I am not licensed there, but a lawyer in your state should be able to answer this very quickly.
It may depend on which state or even community you are in, but visitation and custody can often be changed where the circumstances warrant. Some states require a chang eof circumstances before custody is changed so you should talk to a lawyer who practices family law in your community.
Fortunately for you, North Carolina may be one of the states that recognizes such a lawsuit. I am not licensed in NC, so you should consult with an NC attorney, but be prepared to show how his conduct, and more importantly hers, caused you financial damage. Good luck.