I suggest that you file a petition for custody where you and your girlfriend can appear before a Family Court Judge and enter into a consent order there for joint custody. Once that is done you can appear before the support magistrate (on a downward modification petition) and have a consent order entered, which deviates from the child support standards act based upon the amount of time which you spend with your child and the cost you incur during your visitiation.
I would agree with your attorney. I would think that you should want an order of protection and an order of exclusive use and occupancy of the marital residence! I am confident that your attorney has told you to call the police in the event that your Husband shows up at the house again... also, did you file a domestic incident report? You may want to discuss doing that with your attorney...
You should contact the county clerk's office for where you were 1) married; 2) you presently reside and 3) where your husband currently resides to see if a divorce or annulment was processed. Technically, you were required to be served with divorce and/or annulment papers. In addition, if you have any contact with your Husband or your Husband's family I suggest that you call someone and inquire if he obtained a divorce or annulment.
You should contact the county clerk's office for where you were 1) married; 2) you presently reside and 3) where your husband currently resides to see if a divorce or annulment was processed. Technically, you were required to be served with divorce and/or annulment papers. In addition, if you have any contact with your Husband or your Husband's family I suggest that you call someone and inquire if he obtained a divorce or annulment.
If you are simply looking to obtain a custody order so that you may travel with your child and make decisions for him and/or her, you can go to family court and advice the court of your intention. When doing this, you will need to explain to the court how you have been the child's primary care taker and why it would be in the child's best interest for you to have sole decision making over the child's travel, education and medical decisions. Once you file this petition (seeking sole custody)...
If there is a divorce case pending in Supreme Court you can file a motion to consolidate and have the family court case consolidated with the Supreme Court case. If you have not yet filed a Supreme Court case (seeking a divorce) then you can do that and move for the family court case to be consolidated with your new Supreme Court Case. I should caution you that if the family court has begun a trial or completed a substantive amount of work on the case (ie: you, your husband and child(ren)...