NJ is a one party consent state. You can tape any conververation you are involved in. You cannot hide a recording device and tape conversations that you are not involved in as that you would illegal, if not criminal, having wire tap implications.
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Changes in support are governed by a change of circumstances standard. Typically when someone loses a job, they have to make a good faith, documented effort to seek new employment before they could possibly be entitled to relief. I have recently addresed these issues on our firm's New Jersey Family Blog. The address of the post is: http://njfamilylaw.foxrothschild.com/2008/10/articles/alimony/its-the-economy-where-the-law-and-reality-may-collide-in-future-postjudgment-motions-caused-by-job-loss/
While you don't lose any legal rights as far as equitable distribution, after you leave the home, it may become more difficult to get what is yours.