The simple answer is " yes", your spouse could be required to help you pay these debts in your divorce.
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I agree with Lisa on this one. While you can sue almost anyone for almost anything, I don't think this is a situation where you should prevail. The judge might even be mad at you and sanction you for bringing suit over this type of thing. So let it go, and move on. Not every problem can be resolved by the legal system.
People who share parental rights and responsibilities are supposed to discuss and agree on things that would radically change the child's appearance. I don't think most people bother discussing haircuts, but this isn't really about the haircut. This sounds like a situation where your ex is using the child maliciously to get at you. So yes, this is an example of the type of behavior that a Judge might use as justification for curtailing the other parties' parental rights.
"Pressing Charges" means that the police are getting involved- on your side. By all means, take advantage of this if you can. Sometimes the police do bring criminal charges for filing a false report. But it's very rare. Good luck.
If you are talking about modifying a New Hampshire obligation- I don't know the New Hampshire child support guidelines and you should ask a New Hamshire attorney that question. In Maine, I think it's fine for her to note your mortgage and taxes so long as she helps pay them in some way, which she probably does. But the fact that she has to help pay such expenses usually isn't considered when it comes to calculating child support in Maine. What matters are the parties' gross incomes, daycare...