Questions to Ask Yourself If You Are Considering Divorce
Making the decision to file for divorce is not one you should take lightly. If you are considering divorce, make absolutely sure that you are prepared to follow through with the process and start your single life again.
Have I given my marriage the best shot?Divorce may be a drastic solution to a small problem. Think about the reasons why you are considering divorce. Many problems in marriages can benefit from going to couples therapy. You may find that taking some time apart can reduce tension and let you work through your problems.
Is my marriage really what is upsetting me?In many cases, your marriage is not actually the problem. If there is a different source of stress or anger in your life, that may be the real issue to tackle, and divorce will do nothing to stop those feelings from continuing.
It is a good idea to take steps to alleviate stressors in your life and see if your outlook on your marriage improves. You may find that working on issues outside your marriage will help reduce your distress about your relationship.
Will divorce make my day-to-day life happier?Here you need to weigh the pros and cons of divorcing. On the positive side, if your partner truly was the source of your discontent, you will be able to remove that issue from your life. On the other side, you may have an upheaval in your financial security and living situation.
A trial separation may reveal that your discontent follows you even when your partner is not in your life, showing that your marriage may not be the source of your unhappiness.
Will I have the means to start over on my own?Remember that you may not receive alimony or certain assets in your divorce until a judge finalizes it. You should not begin a divorce convinced that you will win the house, the car, and get alimony.
A practical approach is to look at your personal assets such as your current income and any assets in your name only and then decide if you can survive with only those means.
If you are not at that level of preparedness, you may want to reconsider divorce until you are stable enough to take care of yourself and your children alone.
How will this affect my children?This is a critical question to ask and lately there has been more research showing that divorce is not a life-destroying matter to children as many once thought it to be.
True, some children will feel the impact more than others will, but there are resources that can help with the adjustment such as family counseling and modified custody agreements to grow with your child.