Tips on how to protect yourself from becoming a victim of false allegations of domestic violence and tips on defending yourself against false charges of domestic violence.
Protect Yourself from Becoming a Victim of False Domestic Violence Allegations
Increasingly and alarmingly I am seeing clients who tell me that their partner/spouse wanted them out of the home (or apartment in New York City) or wanted custody of the children and managed to get them out of the home by calling the police and saying that they are the victim of domestic violence. Domestic violence is abhorrent and victims need protection; however it has become clear that there is significant abuse of the system which was designed to protect actual victims of domestic violence.
The system is now being used to perpetrate abuse by separating children from their parent and by having people removed from their homes without notice many times in the middle of the nigh. Many times being arrested and processed for up to 24 hours only to be let out with no place to live and nothing but the clothes on their back.
This abuse has to be stopped, but since there is no end in sight, here are tips to guide those who suspect this may happen in their relationship and tips for those who have already been a victim of this abuse of the system.
If your relationship is on rocky ground and you may have been told things like "you will never see the child" or "I want you to move out" or even "I will call the police and get you out of here" protect yourself by:
a. Look for another place to live and file a custody petition for your kids.
b. In the time while you remain with the person wear a body camera, use technology to protect yourself. It costs money to purchase one, but it is a whole lot cheaper than defending domestic violence charges.
c. Text and email your partner to communicate about most things. This keeps a record of what is happening in your relationship and can later counter their account of things in general.
d. Save all of your receipts or records of your transactions for a record of the date and time of your presence in certain locations. When allegations are made, the date and approximate time are given by the "alleged victim". If false, it can be proven the "alleged perpetrator" was elsewhere at the time. At the very least, this can significantly impair the "alleged victims" credibility.
Defending Yourself Against False Charges of Domestic Violence
If you have been a victim of false allegations:
a. Do not contact the victim in any manner, do not contact their family, and don't visit their social media pages.
b. Hire an attorney that is experienced in the field and can represent you in both Family/ Divorce and Criminal court.
c. Gather as much evidence as you can, print/save all emails and text messages between yourself and the "alleged victim".
d. Petition for a family court order of protection against the "alleged victim". There is nothing to stop them from contacting you otherwise.
e. Petition for custody/visitation for your children.
f. If you are married file for divorce. Speak to your attorney about the strategy of how and in what order to proceed with court filings, this can differ in certain fact patterns.
This guide is written to protect actual victims of domestic violence. If the abuse of the system continues real victims will go ignored and there will be no system in place to protect them.
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