Strategic points to navigate the divorce process successfully.
Factors to consider in determining whether divorce is right for you.1. Financial- Initiating a divorce means the division of a household. Once the separation process begins, your family will now be supporting 2 households instead of one. You must be sure to adjust your budget and complete a thorough review of all finances before deciding whether divorce is right for you.
2. Child Custody- If you have children, determining how you and your spouse will co-parent is one of the most important aspects of a divorce. Effective co-parenting agreements contemplate daily expenses such as child care and transportation, combined with long-term planning such as where the children will attend school and how decisions regarding parenting will be handled.
3. Emotional Support System- Divorce is a mentally and emotionally draining process. Those who make it through successfully, do so in-part because of a strong emotional support system. Make sure to surround yourself with positive, supportive and influential people, as their support will be key to making it through the process.
4. Choosing an attorney- Having a competent and skilled attorney is essential when going through a divorce. The skilled attorney will work with you to develop a long term strategy, help achieve your goals along with protecting you, and your family, from future exposure.
First steps you should take.1. Cell phones and electronic devices - We live in a digital age. Our electronic devises not only serve as diaries and repositories for our most intimate thoughts and feelings, but also personal tracking devises which open you up to being stalked, tracked and traced by your soon-to-be ex.
Because information is the most powerful tool available. Your first step should be changing the password(s) on all devices which do not require a fingerprint. If your phone does require a fingerprint, you should disable this feature and have a pass code only. Also, going forward do not let your children use your phone as well. Lastly, you should change passwords for all apps, social media and websites which you use.
3. Notes and recordings- Document everything! You should begin to document everything that happens. Make sure to begin recording phone calls with your soon-to-be ex, do not delete message, (text, FB, Insta, Snapchat, Whatsapp, etc.) or emails. Make sure and keeping track of harassing, threatening and/or violent messages and make sure to document anything that seems out of the ordinary.
4. Trust your intuition- If something feels wrong it probably is. If your intuition is speaking to you, taking a moment to stop and listen is critical. If you feel that someone is treating you poorly, they probably are. If you feel someone is lying to you, they probably are. Remember, you must judge a tree by the fruit is bears, not the fruit it talks about.
5. Safety - Your personal safety, and that of your children, are of the utmost importance. If you fear for your safety and well-being your first step should be obtaining a protective order through your local magistrate office.