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Myths About Domestic Violence

Posted by attorney Myava Escamilla

Unfortunately domestic violence is an ugly and pervasive problem for our society - in Orange County, CA and beyond. You and your children's safety should always be apriority. An experienced attorney can provide expertise, knowledge of community resources, and support from start to finish. A practitioner who knows about the cycle of domestic violence can help end it.


Suppose someone hit your car while you were at a stop sign. Suppose they caused damages to your vehicle and injury to you as well. Then they refused to pay for the damages. What would your response be? Most people would say, "Well, I would have to sue them. They caused this damage- I was not at fault. Why should I have to pay for the damage they caused?"

It is no different for a victim of domestic violence who suffers injury, has pain and suffering, incurs medical bills, needs counseling after the violence, or loses wages. The difference is that victims of domestic violence may recover not only for their out-of-pocket losses, their pain and suffering but they may also be awarded punitive damages, emotional distress, and may be awarded attorney's fees.

In addition, depending on the situation, insurances or the owners of property may be liable.

Victims of domestic violence are just as worthy and deserving of compensation as a car accident victim, or other personal injury plaintiff. We can help you through this process and offer expertise that few firms can provide.

Please see below for some common myths about domestic violence and some of the signs.


Domestic violence does not happen to men.

FALSE. Statically, men compose about 22% to 25% of domestic violence victims. However, abuse of men is significantly more under-reported than abuse of women - due to embarrassment, stigma and lack of assistance. This law firm takes abuse no matter the gender of the abuser seriously.

Domestic violence is physical hitting or battering.

FALSE. Domestic violence is about a pattern of control and domination. It does not have to necessarily include physical hitting. It includes many ways of dominating and controlling a person such as sexual abuse, psychological abuse, economic deprivation, stalking, breaking personal property, harassment, threats of violence, monitoring someones movement, and isolating someone from friends and family.

Domestic violence is between a husband and a wife.

FALSE. Domestic violence is not only between a husband and wife. Domestic violence includes folks in a dating relationship, same sex partners, people who share a child, former spouses, people who live or used to together, even relatives or in-laws. I can make it better if I try harder.

FALSE. Domestic abuse and violence is not your fault and not something that an abused person can control. You cannot make it better. You cannot change the other person with you love or support. It will continue to get worse in most cases. Your boundaries will be more and more eroded. This law firm can help you end the cycle of domestic violence and provide resources to help you understand this cycle. You cannot make it better but you can make yourself whole & prevent your children from inheriting this pattern themselves.

SIGNS OF ABUSE A pattern of control and domination can start small - such as putting you down, belittling your appearance, criticizing your beliefs, encouraging you to leave friends and family behind. Threats of violence Breaking or striking things Physical force towards you or others Verbal abuse Jealousy Possessiveness and lack of trust Name calling and put-downs Unrealistic expectations of you Blaming you for problems Use of force in sex Cruelty to children and/or animals

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