Things just got out of hand and I was angry and hurt
Sometimes there is a very thin line between domestic violence and domestic disputes. Arguments within a family, especially between loved ones, which are often based on emotion and can sometimes escalate to level of violence, However that is not always the case, in spite of the fact that the police often assume violence is involved. When loved ones argue, they may say hurtful things that are untrue because they are hurt. Later, however, once they are calm and in control of their emotions, they often regret the untruths they said to the police. Unfortunately, by that time the police likely arrested the loved one and now the state is pursuing criminal charges against him. When this happens, many peple believe they can simply "drop the charges" only to be told by the prosecutor and/or the victim advocate, that they cannot drop the charges.
What are my rights? the prosecutor won't listen to me.
Once the state pursues charges against your loved one, in many states you do not have the power to drop the charges. Studies have shown that victims of domestic abuse sometimes call the police on their abusers then want to have charges dismissed later even in spite of the fact that they are being abused. Situations such as this often lead to detrimental results. It is likely based upon this type of theory that the state often pursues these charges even when the alleged victim later says that they want the charge(s) dropped. Further, as the alleged victim in a criminal case, if you later recant your original statement you risk facing criminal prosecution for false reporting. In a situation like this it is imperative that you seek the advice of a lawyer to explain your rights and to advocate for you, assuring that your wishes are heard by the, while protecting you from possible criminal prosecution. You do have the right to be heard.
I do not want a No Contact Order
Often in criminal cases involving domestic violence allegations, the Judge will issue a No contact order (NCO). If an alleged victim doesn't want a NCO in place, it is up to the Judge. Many times Judges refuse to drop NCO's, no matter what the alleged victim wants, while the case is pending. In situations where the alleged victim wants the Judge to drop the NCO the alleged victim should do the following:
Ask to talk to the victim advocate
Tell the victim advocate their wishes and ask them to tell the Judge
Be prepared to tell the Judge that they are not afraid for their safety and they have an escape plan should they become fearful.
Finally, presenting a letter from a State Certified Domestic Violence treatment provider stating that the parties are not a threat to each other, can be very compelling to convince a Judge to drop a NCO while a criminal case is pending.
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