An incident with a spouse or partner that lands one in jail with a criminal charge is a double whammy. The incident itself is usually upsetting and incarceration and criminal charges only heighten and complicate the emotional intensity. Resist the natural temptation to reach out to the alleged victim for help, to apologize, to justify, to seek closure or just to give a piece of your mind. This will never help. There are victim's advocates who work with the prosecutor's office who reach out to victims to find out if subsequent contact has been made and the nature of that contact. There is a behavioral profile for domestic violence perpetrators that you run a high risk of stepping right into if you react emotionally. This will make a prosecutor more inclined to seek onerous penalties against you. You have been arrested or charged with DV, which is a serious legal problem that calls for cool headed deliberation
Scrupulously abide by the no contact order
If a no contact order has been issued, follow it no matter what. A violation of a no contact order is a crime for which you can be arrested, charged and incarcerated. The City of Seattle will charge you with a no contact order violation on top of your original domestic violence charge. It is not a defense that the protected party invited you to violate the no contact order.
How to scrupulously abide by the no contact order
To avoid the inadvertent phone call from you to the alleged victim, remove the alleged victim from your speed dial and address book on your phone. To avoid having your concerned friends appear to be sending messages from you to her, keep your friends in check and let them know that if they talk about you, this runs the risk of being interpreted as you violating the protection order through a third party. If she calls you, you must hang up. If she seeks you out, you have no choice but to turn and leave. This is all because you cannot trust that a no contact order violation will be forgiven or understood by the prosecutor.
Consult with Counsel
There may be multiple other challenges that make strict compliance with a no contact order difficult. It's best to discuss this scenario with counsel familiar with domestic violence prosecutions in Seattle. If there are critical family or business issues that are being harmed by the restrictions of the no contact order, there may be ways to address these concerns. However, it is best to consult with counsel who will know how to best approach the situation without creating further legal trouble for you.