Like women, male victims hesitate to report the abuse, and for many of the same reasons. But in addition to concerns about revenge perpetuated by the woman, or others not believing them, they are too embarrassed to tell anyone.
We live in the #MeToo era. A record number of female victims have sought justice for physical and sexual abuse by male aggressors. Though this is positive progress, it eliminates from consideration a huge category of victims who face the same type of abuse at the hands of others. In fact, you may be quite surprised to discover that many men suffer domestic violence by women.
Like women, male victims hesitate to report the abuse, and for many of the same reasons. But in addition to concerns about revenge perpetuated by the woman, or others not believing them, they are too embarrassed to tell anyone. However, it has been reported that nearly 1/3 of all domestic-violence victims are male. And it’s been reported in Britain that in each year from 2012-2017 the number of male domestic abuse victims doubled. If you are a victim of domestic violence, don’t hesitate to call a local attorney.
The vast majority of people continue to believe in traditional gender roles -- they believe that men are stronger and that a man reporting abuse by a female demonstrates his weakness. This common belief causes abused men to delay contacting, or to never contact, appropriate authorities, if they even contact them at all. Some men also worry that they will be arrested and taken into custody, because a woman abusing a man seems so rare.
Sometimes, both the male and the female are abusive. The police, if called, have problems determining who the real victim is. If they have children, an abused male also has to worry about leaving his children with the abusive woman if he is not believed and, instead, is taken into custody. Other reasons for not reporting such domestic violence include same-sex relationships if the victim has not come out, religious beliefs, and a lack of resources.
Female and male abusers are capable of the same abuse, and it can be mental, verbal, or physical. Even if the woman is smaller than her victim, she has learned to strike, push, or otherwise hurt him physically. Verbal abuse falls into many categories, such as humiliating someone in public in front of family, friends, or at work. Threats and intimidation, such as controlling how the victim spends their time or money, threatening to leave with the children, insults, online stalking, and overbearing possessiveness can all be a part of the ongoing abuse.
Some female abusers spread lies about their victims to others in an effort to manipulate them. Or, they may hide or take away car keys, medications, or valuable items, all of which are also forms of harassment. Some abusers attempt to destroy the victim’s relationships with family and friends, forcing them into isolation.
Dealing with Abusive Partners
If you’re in an abusive relationship and have an abusive partner, please exit the abusive situation as soon as possible. If you’re worried about your safety, or children are present, immediately contact the authorities to ensure your safety and the safety of your children; the police are obligated to protect abuse victims. Try not to retaliate, but rather, gather all the evidence that you can. Keep a journal, save medical reports, and take pictures. Try to have a safe place to stay, at least temporarily. And call local legal counsel.
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