Many times during a contentious divorce, the parties will get angry with each other and words are said during the heat of anger. Many people never realize that they are hurting their children in the process, or take the time to think about how this affects them. The following words were written by Judge Michael Haas from Minnesota, back in the 1990's. Even though they are almost 20 years old, these words are as true today as they when they were first spoken. If you are contemplating a divorce, read and memorize these words from Judge Haas and remember that you are divorcing your spouse, not your children. Do not make your children collateral damage in your divorce.
"Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is YOUR problem and YOUR fault.
No matter what you think of the other party -- or what your family thinks of the other party --these children are one-half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an 'idiot' his father is, or what a 'fool' his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of HIM is bad.
That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love! That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.
I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer."
Thank you to Heather Shanks, owner of Go To-Pro for sending me these words.
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