Children are often injured by the actions of their parents during a divorce
Children's lives are going to change
Children are very concerned about the fact that their lives will change. This is true, their lives will change: their parents will no longer be residing together; they will not be sleeping in the same house as both parents any more; they probably will not see both parents everyday; their parents may find new love interests, etc. Parents should try to explain to their children that everything always changes: the seasons change; they grow up and they get bigger; they change teachers each year; they meet new friends; they are bought new clothing; they watch new television shows; see new movies; like new toys and books; and try new foods. Parents must try to show the children that they may end up liking the new change. They will now have 2 residences, they will have toys in each place, they may meet new friends in each place.
Children sometimes feel that they caused the dovorce
Children often feel that they are the cause of their parents marital problems. Sometimes they feel that their behavior caused the split. Parents must be careful to constantly reinforce the idea that the divorce has nothing to with anything that the child did or did not do. There will be enough blame being thrown around between the adults, the child must understand that he/she was not at fault and is loved by both of them.
Keep children out of the middle
Putting children in the middle happens very often and is terribly detrimental to the children. They should never be forced to "choose" which parent is right or which they love more. Not only is this harmful for the children, but children will often feel disloyal to one parent if they want to spend time with the other. In addition to being placed in the firing zone, children should never hear or be told anything that would tarnish their opinion of the other parent. Parents should encourage the children to respect and love the other one as if they were still a married unit.
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