This guide offers key tips for implementing or seeking shared parenting time with your children in a New Jersey Divorce or Child Custody Case.
SHARED PARENTING REQUIRES BEING ON CALL AND READY TO STEP IN
Some people truly understand the meaning of shared parenting, others do not. When you have a shared parenting schedule, which can be 2 days of overnights per week or more, or if its closer to shared 3 days one week, 4 days the other, the variations can vary greatly. The good news is if you have a shared plan or are seeking one, you may be civil with the other parent which is great. If you are not, it can still work with a very detailed shared parenting plan. The key is to be detailed which leaves little room for misunderstandings and if you party needs the other to step in, that parent should as you are both equally responsible for the child. An experienced family law attorney can help you craft a detailed schedule.
LIVING CLOSE TO EACH OTHER IS VERY HELPFUL
While you do not have to live on the same block, if you do live near each other, you will be able to step in, pick your child from school, drop the child off without risking being late, without wasting time commuting to your home. The closer you live to the other parent the better it is for the children, especially during the school week which runs all of our lives.
With the shared parenting plan and the overall situation, while it may be hard at first, the parents must remain civil, act like adults for the benefit of the children. You may not agree with everything the other parent does but you have to give a little to get a little. No adult appreciates micromanagement.
With the defined shared parenting plan, a key component is the communication between parents. The parents should have this defined in the plan as well to avoid miscommunication and conflict. I usually recommend email or family wizard to communicate as text messaging can lead to quick messages that you may regret or may come off wrong. Think about what your are sending three times before you send it.
LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS OUT OF IT
One of the biggest issues we face today is social media opinions that give advice without full regard to the problems they are escalating and the gossip culture we live in. No relationship whether during or post relationship is perfect. There is no need to tell your friends everything that is going on with y our ex or the other parent as they may take it the wrong way or began knocking on your situation. They have issues too and people like to point fingers. Stay focused at the task at hand, raising resilient and happy kids!
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