This is an extremely complex matter that cannot be adequately answered here. I suggest you schedule a FREE consultation with an attorney, and retain counsel as soon as possible. These are complicated strategic moves that need to be considered in detail.
Nothing about him would change if you moved back in. Sounds like he's a control freak. I know the answer in Ohio but states vary. Speak with a local attorney BEFORE the child is born.
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Unless you're married, your ex will need to bring a petition to establish custody of your child. This means that while he may be entitled to custodial rights to your child, he does not have rights until a court establishes them.
From a legal standpoint, there may be a strategic advantage to living 4 hours away and making it harder for the father to have parenting time. This would be an argument to make if/when he moves to establish custody. It is up to you whether or not to move. At the very least, I recommend that you begin keeping a journal of any threatening behavior, texts, emails, and voicemails. These things will help you if/when he tries to obtain custody.
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