It is unfortunate that you and your child's father are not on the same page, and that you have to go back to court. I don't practice in the Salem courts, but my experience in the Hampton Roads area has been that the judge's leave the decision making for day-to-day things like day care to the parent who has primary physical custody. In fact, one judge in particular tells the non-custodial parent that the primary caregiver "has the majority vote." Also, if day care is in place, and that is the routine your child is used to, her best interests are not served by a disruption to the routine.
If your daughter is in day care on your custodial days, it's your choice whether she goes to a private provider, a church program, the YMCA, or other facility. You don't have to use his mother-in-law just because she's available.
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