Yes, your mother is correct in that your pending marriage probably will affect your child's SSI benefits. Once you are married your spouse's income and resources will count in the calculations Social Security makes about your son's eligibility and benefit level.
In general, unearned family income, after a few small deductions reduces the child's SSI benefits by one dollar for every two dollars the family receives. Earned family income is figured differently, as the parents get some allowance for family living expenses, including care for any other children in the home. The family earned income would have to exceed approximately $2500 monthly to take away the entire SSI payment.
So long as the disabled child receives $1 in SSI payments each month, the child probably is still eligible for Medicaid health coverage.
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Social Security looks at all the income and the household expenses for deciding SSI eligibility. My colleague is correct. It is unfortunate, but this is an example of where the government actually penalizes, or discourages, people getting married.
Good luck to you.
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SSI should be more correctly named Welfare Disability. If it was people would understand any time you are on SSI or applying for SSI the family's financial status must be considered. Marriage means the spouse's income and assets will now be considered.
This response is meant to be information only and should not be considered to be legal advice. This information is not meant and should not be construed to be the formation of an attorney client relationship. I practice Virginia Workers compensation law and Social Security Disability law.