My husband feels our marriage is over, yet he is somewhat undecided. He becomes angry or overly-emotional and it is difficult to continue living together in our current situation. He will wake me up from a sound sleep at unreasonable hours to discuss highly charged emotional issues and he instigates fights on a daily basis. I'd like to consider leaving the home for some peace and separation, but I am worried this may jeopardize any desired outcome on my own behalf regarding final decisions surrounding who lives in the house. My two sons live with us, one is my son from a previous relationship and the other is his son from a previous relationship. I'd prefer to remain at home with my son, but the situation is so unhappy.
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this. I think that it's best that you not discuss the facts of your case publicly. I would suggest that you contact one or more of us directly. I would be happy to speak with you if you give me a call.
Rhode Island is a very small jurisdiction so it's important that you consider the possibility that people who you know may see your question or that the facts discussed here may be subject to discovery requests if you become involved in litigation. Please remember that it is not possible to give proper legal advice without a thorough consultation and this answer is meant only to provide you with some guidance. Contact an experienced attorney at your earliest convenience to discuss your case thoroughly. The above was provided purely for informational purposes and does not create an attorney-client relationship between the questioner and the attorney.
The short answer is that is almost never in your interest to separate before you file and sort things out. The person in the home has little motivation to negotiate in good faith once the other party is out, and things usually take a longer, rather that a shorter time to resolve. I get that the situation stinks. The best advice is get the process moving, sort out the understanding, and then with everyone knowing what is expected of them, you separate. Obviously, if there is domestic violence involved, all bets are off. Call the cops.
The response to questions on-line does not constitute legal advice. You should consult with a lawyer in your jurisdiction before making legal decisions.
I agree with my colleagues here. First of all, it is in your best interest to speak to an attorney one-on-one as early in the process as possible. If you believe divorce is on the horizon, I suggest you speak to an attorney now.
Second, it is also in your best interest to attempt to work things out on your own terms. If the communication is there, even if it is strained, you should try to come to as much of your own agreement as possible. If, however, it is truly impossible to get anywhere, you're attorney will guide you through the contested divorce process.
Feel free to call my office if you'd like a free consultation. 401-454-7700.
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