I am unmarried have a 6 month old and I am considering leaving my son's father. He has signed an established paternity form and has been financially supporting me for a couple of years now. Everytime I bring up getting a job he always forbids it leaving me with no way to have earned income. He won't pay for childcare. He threatens if I take him to court he will take my son and I wouldn't get anything. He also says he will claim I am an unfit parent.
Go speak to a lawyer and stop listening to the father of your child. You are allowing him to bully you. There are many great family law attorneys in the greater metro area. Speak to several and hire the one you like the best.
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What do you mean by 'he forbids it'?
Are you chained up in the basement?
He is a control freak and the best way to deal with those types is to enlist the assistance of an attorney.
Do not wait. Get a lawyer.
This reply is made in response to a question posted on a public message board. This response is for general information only. This response does not create an attorney-client relationship. You have not hired the responding attorney and the responding attorney has not agreed to represent you.
Threats like this should be ignored. As long as the two of you stay together, there is no need for child support if dad is paying all expenses. And if you don't work, regardless of the reason, there is no need for daycare. What there is a need for, is for you to decide whether or not you should stay in this relationship. If the answer is "yes", good luck and the story is over. If the answer is "no" then it is time to sit down with an attorney and discuss what needs to be done.
I agree with Judy. Find an experienced family law attorney. The father doesn't make get the final say - the judge does . The court has authority to award temporary child support - i.e., while a case is in progress. Also, child support will be ordered to continue until your son is at least 18 years old.
Your son's father's behavior of threatening you and forbidding you to work is a form of domestic violence. Unlike what other attorney's have posted, you should not "ignore" his threats. You should seek help from a domestic violence organization (there are many that provide free services) and develop a safety plan for leaving. You may also qualify for free legal services. His threat to "take" you son is probably empty, if you are the one who has been caring for your son, and if you are not a danger to him in any way. The father will probably be entitled to parenting time and, as long as your son spends the majority of time with you, you have a right to receive child support from him. You can file for child support through the state or in court. You should talk to an attorney to get more detailed information about your rights.
Don't listen to him. Listen to a good attorney. Set up a consult with a good one and talk specifics. It may serve your interests to file a paternity action to set child support and require him to contribute to childcare.
My advice to you is to do what you see fit for yourself and your child. Spouses/partners that make threatening comments like, "If you leave me I'll take him," or "I'll claim you're unfit," etc. typically are just unhappy, scared, and are trying come off stronger. Don't let that worry you. Those are the litigants that wind up causing themselves more of a headache. You should consult with an attorney to work out a plan of action.
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