Setting aside your loaded questions - have you consulted with attorneys? You should try to find a lawyer to help you or you will probably end up with very little at the end of this divorce.
The above information does not establish an attorney client relationship nor is it meant to provide legal advice.
Most attorneys are not unethical. There is nothing unethical about representing a client who is a bad person. The legal profession is not your problem. Your husband is. You need your own lawyer. At the end of the day, if your husband really has a lot more money than you do, he may well end up paying your legal fees. The advice you got to borrow money if you have to in order to hire a lawyer was good advice. You have to stop complaining that you are a victim and deal with your situation as best you can. That means finding a lawyer and not necessarily the first one you interview. You need to make this decision carefully because you are going to have to live with it. If hiring a lawyer is a financial strain you certainly won't be able to afford to change lawyers later if you are unhappy with the lawyer you hire.
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If it is true that your soon to be ex-husband has access to money to pay an attorney, and you do not, you need to talk to an attorney about getting the court to order your attorney to be paid from assets under his control. If you proceed withut an attorney, you (and perhaps your son) will regret it.
You lvie in California which is a community property state. Unless you have a pre-nup agreement, his income (and the assets bought with that income) while you were married are community property in which you have an equal ownership interest.
Also, note that he has a fiduciary duty to provide you with accurate information regarding his income and assets. You need an attorney to make sure that is done.
Most lawyers are not unethical. They simply advocate the side they represent, and that often looks "unethical" to the party who disagrees.
You need your own attorney, and based on what you have written, you should have one that your ex pays for. You should immediately retain an attorney - if what you say is accurate, you should have no problem finding one who will look to your ex for payment pursuant to court order.
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