Ownership of the plot would determine who controls what monument or cover is used for the grave. If sibling 1 truly purchased and owns the plot then that sibling would not have to sue anyone to have the headstone removed. They simply inform the cemetery corporation that they wish to have it removed and replaced. I do not see grounds for a law suit since 1. they have no damages and 2. they can easily cure the problem.
Whether or not someone is the beneficiary of an insurance policy or named in a Will is not ordinarily anything that would affect the cemetery plot or burial. The Will may have given the executor or executors the authority to pay for the burial from the estate but unless the Will specifically left this cemetery plot to someone then the ownership of the plot does not pass through the probate. If your mother was the owner of the plot and not Sibling 1 then Sibling 1 has no more right than Sibling 2 to control the plot. Ownership is determined by purchase and the owner is given a c ertificate of ownership. The owner can designate the use of the plot at the cemetery office or by specific gift in a Will. If they do not designate then the use of the plot is reserved for the surviving spouse of any deceased owner and then to the children of the deceased owner, in order of need. If Sibling 1 is not the owner but merely the child of the decedent that was given the money for the purpose of the burial, then they have no more right than sibling 2.
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Your question is not entirely clear. Who is the owner of the cemetery plot? If it is both of you, then you both can decide. It APPEARS that your sibling is angry because HE was given the money from the insurance policy to pay the expense and you did it anyway. If that is the case, then his anger is misplaced and he should get over it.
The person who owns the burial plot normally has the right to dictate what goes there. It is not clear from your summary who that person is.
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I agree with the other answers. You will need to look at the documentation regarding the plot to determine ownership. Texas Health and Safety Code Section 711 discusses cemetary plots and defines "plot owner" as either a person whose name the plot is held under by the cemetary orgainzation's office or the person who holds a certificate of ownership or other conveyance instrument. You should contact the cemetary to see if you can find out who owns the plot. If your mom bought it for herself, it is probably owned by her, now her estate. If your sibling purchased it for your mom, it is probably owned by your sibling. Check the documents.
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