If you've done a proper sperm donation, then the bio-dad is not in the picture for anything.
If you didn't follow the proper procedure, i.e. did it the old fashioned way, well then, he may be obliged to pay support.
Mom #2, on the other hand, is named on the birth certificate and is presumptively the other parent, by law.
It's a bit complex, to say the least, and the answer(s) will depend upon the facts on the ground.
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Mr. Yomtov is correct that your situation may be complicated. Your question does not provide enough information for a meaningful answer.
You should consult a local attorney to get a confidential opinion and explanation of possible options.
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This could get dicey. If you try to hold the partenr's feet to the fire she could also prevent you from moving. if you leave this up to DCSS, they will proabbly seek support from biodad, as that is more familiar. That said this is all uncharted territory legally speaking.
For the sake of all convcerned a REALLY GOOD mediator could--would-- be a much better solution going forwrad. This will be an 18 hyear long relstionship of coparenting.. with saomeone! You ned a really good mediator because the not so good on e will just ty to strong are whomever they dksagree wiht. Not the desired process or outcome... and remember--the CHILD is the center of this.
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I always agree with Carroll (Edna) and I have 40 years of experience. See Carroll I did follow your wishes. I am not a cold heartless SOB ha ha
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I have not researched your partner's liability for child support but my sense is that she should not be liable because the child wasn't conceived why you and she were cohabitating . I'd view your partner as a mere stepparent.