This could get dicey. If you try to hold the partner’s feet to the fire she could also prevent you from moving. if you leave this up to DCSS, they will probably seek support from biodad, as that is more familiar. That said this is all uncharted territory legally speaking.
For the sake of all concerned a REALLY GOOD mediator could--would-- be a much better solution going forward. This will be an 18 year long relationship of co-parenting.. with someone! You need a really good mediator because the not so good one will just try to strong arm whomever they disagree with. Not the desired process or outcome... and remember--the CHILD is the center of this. What you do now will affect all of you for the rest of your lives.
Ms. Straus (aka Carroll) may be reached at 800-400-8978 during regular business hours, Pacific Time, or anytime by email at: ECSEsquire@AOL.com. All of Ms. Straus’ responses to questions posted on Avvo are intended as helpful information based upon the facts stated in the question, and are not to be relied upon as a final legal opinion. It may not be what you wished to hear, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Ms. Straus is licensed to practice law in California. If you would like to obtain specific legal advice about this issue, you must contact an attorney who is licensed to practice law in your state, and retain him or her. Me Straus provides “unbundled” services if you need specific assistance with a specific issue.