Process must be properly served on all parties in an action. Anyone who is not served is not bound by the decision in the case. A person who believes that proper service has not taken place may generally challenge the service without actually making a formal appearance in the case.
Do you have a lawyer to help you? If not, please retain one.
Divorce is final when the divorce decree is signed by the judge and filed with the court. The order can declare that both parties are now considered "single".
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It sounds from one of your comments that he is in the military. His commander giving him the paperwork doesn't necessarily mean he was served. He has to be officially served. Once service is perfected and he files an answer the case can proceed. It really sounds like you need to retain local counsel.
Divorces aren't served by sending them. They are served by a sheriff or process server unless service is acknowledged. If you fail to do that you will NEVER be divorced. Divorces with a party out of state can add an extra complexity. Note also that in alledging fault grounds rather than a no fault ground, you may possibly complicate the case as you have to prove those grounds. You really need to see a lawyer.
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