We've been to court numerous times. He has supervised visitation. This time he was ordered anger management/alcohol counseling; and while we both have joint legal custody it was made clear in the new order that his "legal" custody is to look up information on the girls only. He cannot make decisions regarding the girls or sign things ,exec. For 5 years whoever does not have physical custody of the kids on their birthday gets 3 hours with the kids. We've always included both girls. The past two years my ex has used his summer visitation to take my oldest daughter's birthday. This year he said he is ONLY going to bring her home, not her sister, for her birthday celebration here. Then he said he would ONLY if I realize that I'll be in debt to him. If I take him back to court is it worth it?I'll also add that I found out today that he entered them both in a cheerleading camp. Last year I had to sign a permission slip for her to go, so I am 99% sure he signed one this year for them to go without me agreeing to it. I'm the only parent that is allowed to sign things like that. Also, when we went to court last time the judge told him if he sees him again and he hasn't paid any of his court fees/child support he will be thrown in jail. So, what would be the penalty for what he's done with using my kids to spite me saying that he will only let my oldest daughter's younger sister join her on her birthday (like we've done every year) ONLY if I do something for him in return and/or realize I'm in debt to him; and for signing a permission slip that he had no "permission" to sign? Also our kids are 4 and 5 years old.
A willful violation of the divorce agreement is grounds for a finding of contempt. Your narrative is not very clear, but it appears he signed the girls up for cheerleading camp on his own when the parenting plan is clear that you have final decision authority in extra-curricular matters. You could void the enrollment, enroll them in your name or cancel the camp. What he did is grounds for contempt but there are steps you can take to remedy the situation without going to court or hurting the children.
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Did he put the girls in cheer camp on his summer visitation time? If so, I am not sure it is worth going back to court. Likewise with the birthday. You might consider setting a special birthday date with your daughters once they are back in your custody. Save the contempt charges for the big things. If he doesn't change his course, those things will occur soon enough. You might want to show your last custody order to an attorney and let him or her help you to evaluate whether he really is in contempt and whether it is worth pursuing.
Did they require the parenting seminar in your circuit at the time you were divorced? If not, you should sign up for it. From the facts set out in your post, both of you would benefit from the parenting class. If he is involving your children in activities that they are interested in, and that they enjoy, that benefits your children directly. You need to learn how to manage your relationship with your ex so that the children's interests are placed ahead of the interests of the parents. Save contempt motions for major violations of your previous court order.
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