The day to day decisions (what the child eats, bed time, etc) are to be made by the parent who has custody of the child at that time. If she tries to control what you feed the child and you try to control what she feeds the child, the court would consider that micromanaging parenting time and that is frowned upon. While it would be nice to share if the child has a strong dislike or liking for a particular food, it is not required. Bigger decisions, such as educational and medical issues should be discussed and agreed upon, assuming you share joint legal custody. If you live close enough to your son and can be available to care for him during the times the mother hires a babysitter, you may want to file a motion for right of first refusal which, if granted, would require the mother to contact you first, before contacting a babysitter.
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Day-to-day decisions affecting the child are for the parent who is parenting at the time to make without interference from the other. Unless her nutritional choices are causing health issues, these are up to her. Intact families serve a lot of junk to their kids, unfortunately.
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