I am sorry to tell you this. But, I am of the strong belief that the reason that your post has been viewed but not answered for so long a period of time is that no one else will give you the honest answer that you do not want to hear. On the one hand you say that you "can't afford" an attorney. On the other hand you both post that you have lost a great deal and that you apparently backed down to threats instead of simply going before the court in your final hearing and cooly, calmly and clearly presenting your point of view to the court.
If you are serious about the question that you have posted, you will find a way to retain counsel to assist you in reviewing the procedure in the case and thoroughly preparing for and then going forward with additional court action. There are no quick, free fixes.
Truly, I wish you the best.
This answer is provided for informational purposes only. Actual legal advice can only be provided in an office consultation by an attorney licensed in your jurisdiction, with experience in the area of law in which your concern lies.
If the judge reserved on the issue of personal property, then you can file a motion to proceed with that reservation. My experience with that kind of language on those final judgment is that the judge is hoping that the parties will get together and do the distribution of the personal property. They reserve jurisdiction to address such a issue, just in case. If that did not happen, then move on the reservation itself. Set it for hearing and go there prepared with a list of what you should get and a list of what she should get. You may have to go before a general magistrate, after an order of referral on the motion has been entered, since this is now a post-judgment situation. The clerk's office should be able to help you with this process. If your former wife does not want to spend thousands of dollars on an attorney, then try mediation. In addition, your final judgment or agreement might require you to do that before you go to court. Make sure you read that carefully.
Please note that this is not intended as legal advice, rather as a comment.
Sign up to receive a 10-part series of useful information and legal advice about the divorce process.