You need more than vague advise from the internet. You need an attorney to represent you. Talk to that person about your husband's rights as a supposed victim
of domestic violence to refuse to testify. If they have no other evidence that may cripple their case.
Domestic Violence charges are very serious. You should speak to an experienced attorney and go over all the facts, and the lawyer can explain how to proceed. Many attorneys here on AVVO offer FREE consultations.
You should retain a qualified attorney before your court date to try to convince the DA not to file charges. If charges are filed, you must appear in court where you will be given a copy of the police reports and charges. If you can't afford an attorney the court will appoint one. You may also be served with a Criminal Protective Order.
The DA is going to try to punish you either with incarceration and/or a fine. The first appearance is just a formality and you shouldn't expect anything more than that. It's really not the time to make a deal unless they are dropping the charges or offering a Christmas present. Have you made bail? Was it the statutory limit? If no to either of these questions you may be taken into custody until bail is posted so you may wish to have a bail bondsman appear with you and your attorney.
Strategically you have plenty of alternatives. Most of the alternatives will be based upon the specific facts in the case. Are you and your husband still together? Does he wish to testify against you? The DA will force your husband to testify against you so if he doesn't wish to testify then he should consider an attorney to represent his interests. Otherwise, it may become a nightmare for you both.
Many reputable attorneys offer a free consultation so my suggestion is to contact a few immediately to determine your next step. I wish you the best.
The response above is not intended as legal advice since it’s impracticable to provide thorough, accurate advice based upon the query without additional details. It is highly recommended that one should seek advice from a criminal defense attorney licensed in your jurisdiction by setting up a confidential meeting. Moreover, this response does not constitute the creation of an attorney-client relationship since this message is not a confidential communication because it was posted on a public website, thereby publicly disclosing the information, which is another reason to setup a confidential meeting with an attorney.