Well the best practice is to serve both; if this is out of question and you have to pick one, then I would rather serve the attorney over serving your husband. You need to write a letter to the attorney demanding to detail the scope of her/his representation and act accordingly.
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Given that limited scope representation is very new, there are no simple answers to your questions. Unfortunately, you know the answer but just don't like it.
it is simply a fact that litigation causes any inconvenience and expense. In this case, serving both parties and counsel is probably the least amount of inconvenience and expense you will encounter.
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You appear to be confused. An attorney can't file a Substitution of Attorney from full representation to limited scope. If you hired your attorney on a limited scope basis, there must be a Notice of Limited Scope Representation filed and served on the other party, and in that case, the attorney represents you only to the extent of the scope set forth in the Notice of Limited Scope Representation - you represent yourself on matters outside that scope. You should call your attorney to get clarification from him/her regarding whether he/she represents you on all matters, or only on matters set forth in a Notice of Limited Scope Representation, and get a copy of that Notice from your attorney if such a Notice was filed and served. If you are representing yourself outside of that limited scope, you should have documents served on the adverse attorney (or party if the other party isn't represented). You could serve a courtesy copy on your Limited Scope attorney, but that is not required.
Please note that this answer does not constitute legal advice, and should not be relied on, as each situation is fact specific, and it is not possible to evaluate a legal problem without a comprehensive consultation and review of all the facts and court pleadings filed in the case. This answer does not create an attorney-client relationship.
Read the limited scope agreement. You can deal directly with your ex's attorney as to any issue that the attorney represents your ex. I advise you to meet with the Family Law Facilitator to get free assistance in self-representation from someone who can see directly (not through your filtering) what your ex's attorney is doing.