Yes, adultery is a crime in South Carolina. Both your husband AND the other married woman have committed that crime. It is rarely punished as a criminal offense because the burden of proof to prove a crime is beyond a reasonable doubt. You do not necessarily have to have her testimony to prove the adultery in Family Court. The emails are strong enough proof in most circumstances to prove the adultery to the standard of proof in Family Court.
Your husband had a physical and emotional affair, why anyone would try to call it an emotional affair is confusing to me. It sounds like they are trying to excuse it or bush it off as something less than it is. How would you be ruining her marriage? Either it is already ruined (she screwed around on her husband with your husband) or SHE ruined it herself, not you.
I recommend that you go and see a Family Court Attorney immediately.
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