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What do I do when the mother or the father never spend time with their son?

Anna, IL |

They talk to him, hold him and say the love him but never spend any time with him. They are young but never act like they want him. They dont give him a bath when I ask, they never really feed him, they never put him to sleep, he sleeps with me and my husband, I ask if they want him every night and all I get is it is up to you(which means to each other). My husband and I always have him. They never spend enough time with him to bond with him or get to know his schedule. I dont know what to do.

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Attorney answers 3


What is your relationship to the parents? Are you a grandparent? Have you spoken to the parents? There is not really much you can do except teach by example. If you think it is appropriate and you are willing, file for guardianship or custody. For that you would need an attorney. No lawyer here would be able to tell you how to make the parents be better parents.


A lot more detail would be needed to advise you. You should probably talk to an attorney if you are asking a legal question, i.e. should I/can I seek an adoption or guardianship of this child. If you just want the parents to be more involved and are seeking advice on how to do so, you'd probably do better asking a therapist or counselor. The court's can do little to force a parent to actually provide care for a child if the parent does not want to. The ultimate remedy for a parent who cannot/will not take care of his or her child is to terminate parental rights -- this remedy is not a very effective tool if the parent does not care.


I hope you are the grandparents. If you are not then you better go to a lawyer and discuss theses facts. You need to perhaps take some legal action here. You have not said how old the child is.

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