There are a lot of issues presented here, and it is difficult to even begin to address everything in this forum. I cannot tell if either party has filed for a divorce at this point. If no one has filed you should probably meet with an attorney to review this option. In a divorce case you can ask the court for temporary orders granting you residential custody of the children, subject to parenting time with their father. The move out of state may make it more of a challenge but the ultimate test is what is best for the children.
Best of luck to you.
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