My daughter went to visit her father for the 21 days every 4th month as we agreed in the contract. He is still wanting to get me back and making life hell as much as possible but crossed the line. He stated that my daughter said "why is mommys bf thing so much smaller than yours" via text. I know for a fact that this is untrue but id like to address it in order to make sure that he cannot pull it into court later down the line. Who would i have speak with her so there is documentation that i have confronted the accusations and done my duty as a mother? This is a BIG deal to me even if he was just saying so to intimidate me or somehting of the sort. The ex boyfriend is still my friend and has children of his own he would do whatever he needs to prove this to be false as well. PLS HELP?
This would only come up at a hearing to modify custody/visitation as it relates to the best interests of the child. The age of the child is relevant here. However, if you are worried that your child's father will try to use this in court later on on a custody dispute, he will have the burded of proof if he is the moving party asking for a change. Its not your burden to prove that it didn't happen. It sounds like your ex husband is being extremely immature. His text begs the question: Why is he showing his daughter his penis? If this alleged statement by your daughter is all he has, then you shouldn't worry about it too much, especially if he is not threatening litigation based on this.
This is the type of petty stuff that courts frown upon when people use their children as tools in custody battles. Assuming you have provided all of the relevant facts in your question, even if your daugher did happen to see your ex-boyfriend's privates, its highly unlikely that a child would say such a thing and a custody mediator and Judge will see right through this. Further, since you are not dating your ex-boyfriend anymore, I assume he is not really in your daughter's life to any significant degree. So even if there was a risk to your daughter there, it would no longer exist because he is now your EX. Just let your husband know that his text is highly inappropriate and that your daughter has never seen your ex-boyfriend's private parts, and be sure to document all of your correspondence. Take the high road.
DISCLAIMER - The materials provided in this answer are informational and should not be relied on as legal advice. Nothing in this email message creates an attorney-client relationship. You should always consult a lawyer in your state regarding your specific legal matter.
This seems very incredulous because the child would have to see both to know one is so much smaller than the others. If there is a custody proceeding and you have an attorney you could seek sanctions for false allegations of abuse 3027.1 if the parent makes the claim in court.
It all depends but false allegations are common and usually backfire.
This is just my opinion and not a comprehensive answer. You assume the risk because this answer may not apply to your situation depending on the facts.
Under provisions of the California Family Code, false allegations of child sexual abuse can cost the parent making those allegations all custody and visitation of the child. I also agree that the question is not one that a child would be expected to make, as there would be no point of reference to even generate the question in the first place without being exposed to Dad's. In addition, By the time of the text message can be determined who your daughter was with when it was sent, certainly undercutting his allegation. And as previously stated, he would have the burden of proof on any issue. If he thinks there is abuse going on and alleges that this text message is the basis for that belief and then he does nothing about if for a significant time, he further undermines his own allegations should he decide to try to make them later. Be ready and be prepared to hire counsel if he makes any such allegations.
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