Custody disputes are resolved in family court with the legal standard known as "best interests of the child." You should consult with and retain a family law attorney who will help you seek full custody in light of the issues you raise. When you do consult with the attorney, discuss how much the representation would cost and ask how likely they think you will prevail given the facts & circumstances you present. Weigh those two factors carefully against each other and ask yourself whether its worth it.
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Joint custody requires that the parties are able to make decisions together in a cooperative fashion. If the father refuses to be cooperative, you seem to have a case to modify custody, but you shall need an attorney to help you with this.
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Given this level of animosity, one would think you have a good case. Hopefully you've kept a good paper-trail of these communications. Schedule a consult with a Bronx Child Custody lawyer for a full assessment.
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