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What can I do to make sure my ex picks up our son, instead of going to his girlfriends and saying he's working?

Duncan, OK |

He picks him up on Saturday morning, but on Friday night he always says he's working and I know that is not true. Would it be appropriate for me to go by his girlfriends home and knock on the door, knowing he is there and bring my son to him? He's wanting to get custody also after he turns 12 yrs old.

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Attorney answers 2


It is his loss of time with his son. You should document his calls, in writing. If you think you will be in a custody battle, document where he is with pictures, work records, phone calls to him at work, etc.

The response given is not intended to create, nor does it create an ongoing duty to respond to questions. The response does not form an attorney-client relationship, nor is it intended to be anything other than the educated opinion of the author. It should not be relied upon as legal advice. The response given is based upon the limited facts provided by the person asking the question. To the extent additional or different facts exist, the response might possibly change. Attorney is licensed to practice law only in the State of California. Responses are based solely on California law unless stated otherwise.


It is hard on you and the child when a parent is inconsistent in exercising his time. You cannot control the other parent. You can, however, control your reaction to the other parent's actions. First, do not let your anger over this situation show in front of the child. Do not bad-mouth the other parent in front of the child. Allow the child to talk about his feelings. Reassure him that he is loved, and that any difficulties he is having with his father are the result of difficulties the father is having. Don't lay blame on the father, but reassure the child it's not the child's fault. If you have the chance, talk to the other parent calmly about the effect his lack of consistency is having on the child. He may not be aware. You cannot shelter a child from all of life's disappointments. You should anticipate the father's inconsistency and have a back-up plan so the child can adapt to another form of quality time.

If we do not have a written attorney-client agreement: I am not your lawyer; you are not my client; this is not legal advice.

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