I am the custodial parent of a 4 year old boy. His father visits him every other weekend and a wednesday dinner. He had my son tell me he is getting married and has also been having my 4 year old sleep with his Fiance daughter unsuprevised in his fathers bed. the girl is either 3 or 4 years older. He is also now not showering him, playing with him, or doing anything with him but sit and watch tv with his fiance. HE aslo allows the girl to make him play with dolls and her toys. my son use to hate going there and now he is very upset over the future marriage. WHat can I do to help my little boy? I have stopped even talking to him since he will become defensive and attacks me telling me i'm pathedic and he can do whatever he wants?
You can file a motion in court to change the parenting order based on the best interests of the child, and restraining him from doing certain things to your child. You could take your child to a psychologist for help as well as for recommendations, which you can eventually bring to the court's attention.
Please be advised my answers to questions does not constitute legal advise and you should not rely on it, due to the fact that we have never met, I have not been aprised of the facts in you case nor have I reviewed any documents.
I didn't see the "makes my child lie to me" part of your question in the description, but I get the gist of it. Suggestions:
1. Check your motives. Take an honest look at how you feel about his getting married. Is it coloring your views? Have you (even unknowingly) communicated to your 4 year old that you're not happy about the wedding, and is that coloring your son's views?
2. If the complaints are legit, you'd have to file a motion and ask a court to have to you attend mediation or therapy where you can discuss your / your son's concerns. You might get more mileage with the court by advocating this as a situation where your son needs to engage in counseling over the formation of the new family unit and his feelings about it.
IF YOU LIKE THIS ANSWER AND APPRECIATE THE TIME IT TOOK TO WRITE IT, PLEASE SELECT IT AS "BEST ANSWER." Thanks. The above is said without seeing your case file and without my understanding the entirety of the facts of your case. Depending on those facts, the above information be may incomplete or may be completely inaccurate. The above is intended as general information only based on what you described and not as legal advice. I advise you to consult with counsel who may be able to provide better information commensurate with a better understanding of your situation.
There is a lot going on here, some of your gripes seem legitimate, and others seem based on emotion.
First, if he is endangering your son, you must be vigilant in protecting your son's rights. Depending on what your husband is doing (or not doing) there may come a point where DYFS (Division of Youth and Family Services) needs to get involved (nothing you allege seems to rise to that level). But, if the sleeping arrangements or the hygiene issues rise to a level of endangering your son, you may have an obligation to report the situation and to keep your son out of that environment. Again, nothing you claim seems to rise to that level, but, the welfare of children is something that the State of New Jersey takes very seriously.
With all of that said, you may want to think twice about discussing these emotionally mature issues with a 4-year-old.
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